


Lost Light

by TurkeyzHoe



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Gore, Horror, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Self-Defense, Self-Hatred, its kinda scary but good on him, light has gone through shit but has his revenge, maybe gonna be like 3 chapters, only chap 1 is first person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-04 04:18:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurkeyzHoe/pseuds/TurkeyzHoe
Summary: Light Yagami was kidnapped at age 16, missing to the world he eventually is presumed dead and is never found. 3 years later, he escapes.





	1. His Throat

How long can a person endure this torture, without absolutely losing it? How long do I have to lay here, hands and feet numb from cold, constant ringing in my ears refusing to stop, my body slowly becoming used to the "rewards" from this sad man. When I see him, I'm scared. When he touches me, I know he could go back to being crazy and choke me, not until I die, but until I'm begging for him to stop. Here, I live off of canned foods, usually meant for dogs or cats. I refuse to be fed anything that wasn't packaged. I learned after the first time, the bitter taste from the porridge that was made for me wasn't a result of this man being a poor chef, it was from the drugs laced within the meal. He doesn't mind that I don't eat his cooked food, he wants me alive so it would do him no good if I starve. But now, I wish, I pray that one day I could leave—dead or alive. If only the torture would stop. Just one day, his beloved knife wouldn't merely cut into my skin whenever he was bored, one day I wish he could lose it and his favorite weapon would completely slice across my throat, causing me to bleed out and finally die, finally be gone and away from him. But I can only hope. I can only dream.

Now I lay here, in the bed of my kidnapper while he fucks me hard, biting into my shoulder to leave yet another mark that would bleed and refuse to properly heal. He fucks me, and my body doesn't fight it, my legs wrapping around his waist, my hands encouragingly grasping his broad shoulders. He scares me, he growls and sounds angry, and I immediately know it's because I don't sound grateful for his attention he's graced me. I let out a moan, a whine, I beg and scream for him to fuck me, tell him to go harder, faster, anything to make him finish already. My kidnapper loves his whore, he loves me so much he won't let me go, he won't kill me like the countless bodies he's responsible for, I'm different to him. I feel him cum in me. I feel his disgusting, sticky, hot semen poor out of me and onto my thighs and on the sheets. It's the worst part, but my favorite because it's over.

He sits up and reaches into the bedside drawer, getting the duct tape he loved to see across my face. He grabs the small ropes he uses to tie my arms and legs together. We sleep alongside each other. A perfect, loving, stupid-happy couple in his eyes. How odd that I don't know my oh-so-wonderful husband's name. Or where our house is. Are we in a house? Or in an apartment? What's our address? I guess none of these things matter to him. As long as I'm here for him to fuck, as long as I have nowhere to run, he calls me his wife. I can't break it to him that I'm 19, or that I hadn't even finished high school, or that I'm a male who couldn't be his wife, I can't say anything without more bruises and cuts, fingers slowly being broken, another rib getting cracked. Until one of us dies, I have to stay here with him, and I have to live up to his fucked up fantasy. I can't say that I miss anyone I knew, my family, friends, I now only selfishly think about myself. How I want to leave, and how I'd do anything anything to leave. My dreams start to skew my reality. I dream about compromises, about my kidnapper having me choose between me or any person I know. I dream about saving myself, in whatever situation. I dream about my kidnapper choosing a family member over myself. Or any good friend of mine. Anyone besides myself. I hate who I am. I don't love anyone. But I love him. I hate him. Our best days are when he bathes me; it's when I'm untied and he gently cleans me and my wounds. I love when he cares for me. I hate who he is and what he's done, to others and myself. I hate myself. I hate myself most of all.

  
I'm about to sleep and drift off from my thoughts before I feel him move in the bed, getting up to start the day. Another night where I haven't slept. I pretend to be asleep, I don't want the day to start. I hear him leave the room, and the door was left open. I look around the room, and as usual, I can't find anything I can use to save myself. I hear him opening the door downstairs, talking to someone. "Here's your package sir, sign here." My heart races hearing another person speak, in Japanese at that. I can't be too far from safety. I shut my eyes when I hear him shuffle up the stairs. He shuts his bedroom door as he walks in, the delivery box he holds thrown sloppily to the ground, he opens the bedside drawer and takes something out. I can't risk to open my eyes right now. I hear him ripping open the box and taking whatever is inside it before he leaves the room.

I open my eyes and I hold my breath. I see a box cutter on the ground. I look to see that the door is actually closed, and I might have a chance. I scoot around the bed, and throw my tied legs over and reached with my feet. I had some sort of pressure on the cutter and pulled forward, resulting in it sliding closer toward me and the bed. I feel the handle around with my toes and I'm able to carefully lift my legs and let it drop onto the bed. My breathing gets heavier, more panicked, I might have a chance right now. I move to where one of my hands could reach it, grasping the weapon in my hand like treasure, before hiding it under my pillow.

I call out for him, writhing and moaning in his bed. I lay on my back, my face flushed as I keep moaning. I hear him walk in and I keep my eyes closed, as if I'm sleeping. I keep breathing as heavily as before, and moaning underneath the duct tape, putting on a show and making it look as if I was dreaming of him, fantasizing about him. He curses under his breath and jumps on me, asking if I want him to fuck me, to breed me. I desperately nod my head and as a result he rips off the duct tape, allowing my moans to be heard even louder. My pulse races as he's untying my hands and feet, I'm so close. He lifts up the large shirt I wear, the only clothing he's allowed me to wear, and I wrap my legs around his waist, as routine. I feel him hard against my thigh, and I gasp and try to roll against it. He groans and gives in, entering me roughly without preparation. So far, everything is normal. This is the couple we are. We're the cool couple right now. We fuck before we sleep and after we wake up, we scream at the top of our lungs while we fuck, and we can't get enough. I tell him to go harder. He does so and I intensely focus on his neck. His sweating neck and his moving Adam's apple. I stopped moaning by now, it's all him.

He's shutting his eyes right now, he doesn't notice. I reach under my pillow and hold the box cutter to my chest protectively, he hasn't noticed. He moans out one last time, his disgusting, sticky hot semen pouring into me one last time, his fucking dirty hands clawing through my skin one last time. My adrenaline is rushing right now. I feel strength seeing this one last time. I slash the box cutter across his throat, and his blood pours onto my chest as I move my face away, not wanting the red to blur my vision as I see him die. His blood doesn't stop, it spills onto my neck, my chest, it gushes on my body and as he died I never felt more alive. He reached to grab for my throat but I beat him to it, I pressed my fingers into his would and ripped as much as I could. I rolled us over and pushed him into the bed, making sure I never lost control in this moment. I can see my arms and hands covered in his blood as I'm choking him, and I feel giddy. His eyes become lifeless as blood seeps out from his mouth and throat on his sheets. I let go slowly and see the blood everywhere on the bed, what gushed out of his throat when I initially sliced it and what blood was spread from us rolling around and fighting to live. The shock leaves me relatively quick and I looked at him with disgust. I'm glad he's gone. It was about time.

I stood up on my own without his disgusting arms around me for the first time in the three years I've been here and I walked out the room. I went down the stairs and my legs felt numb. I see his keys on the kitchen counter and took them. My hand is slippery. I smile as I finally turn the knob because I'm just reminded that his body, his dead body, is upstairs and can't stop me. I step outside, it's broad daylight. Maybe noon. It's hard for me to fully open my eyes. His expensive car is in the driveway and I unlock my kidnapper's car. When I sit down, I see my reflection in the side mirror. Blood glistens on my neck and body. I look down and it's on most of my legs. The amount my kidnapper bled must have been a reward for me, and karma for him. I never learned to drive a car, but I can try my best. He has a GPS installed, how convenient for me. I wipe off a bloody finger on the steering wheel before typing in the coordinates for the police station. As the gps started to process my location, I realize that I'm going to see my father for the first time in three years. I'm going to see Sayu, my mom, I can go back to high school, I can do what I never appreciated before.

I start the car and drive off, away from him. Well, from his dead body. I wonder what day it is. I don't see anyone driving around at the moment. Maybe because I'm in a neighborhood right now. The police station is in the middle of the city, I'm bound to get stares once I'm driving there. The stares are actually pretty funny now that I see them. They have no idea what just happened. What's been happening for three years. How would they feel if their child was kidnapped like I was? I feel hostile as I imagine their judgement from their stares. I must be paranoid. I'm paranoid. I arrive at the police station, not bothering to park correctly as I shakily opened the door and walked out. Everyone is staring at me surely. I hear people gasping and I see a mother cover her child's eyes. I must look straight out of a horror film. Blood is covering my entire body save for my face. I feel it start to dry around my neck and I feel uncomfortable, but I wear my kidnapper's spilt blood proudly. I pushed open the entrance door for the station, and police officers immediately surround me. I feel my eyes water, I think I may cry. The uniforms remind me of my father, and I feel safe. For once, after three years of thinking I would get killed, of enduring torture and abuse, I felt safe.

"Where's my dad?"


	2. You're Safe Now

Soichiro was on his lunch break. He sighed heavily as he took out some bread he bought from the convenience store earlier, missing the days when his son would come to his work and bring him a homemade meal. He could never forget. His son's smile was radiant and he shined when he walked into a room. He was so kind, Light was so young. The man felt tears gather as he bit into his sweet bread. Why would God punish him, punish Light like this? He wasn't even finished with high school, he never had a girlfriend, he never went on a beach trip with friends, he never did a college entrance exam, there were so many things Light never did. A part of him believed that Light perhaps was made for better things. There couldn't be any other reason why he disappeared. One day, he wished he could come home and see his entire family at the dinner table, Sayu talking about her day, her mother scolding her for something, Light smiling endearingly at his sister and offering her help with homework, Sachiko would make Soichiro help with cleaning up afterwards and they'd be happy with each other's presence the entire time. Light can't be dead. There was no way. The boy was too stubborn, too smart. If Soichiro ever found out what happened to his son, he would kill whoever was responsible. He prayed for a second chance with his only son. If he had Light back, he wouldn't focus on meaningless things like good grades and college, he was too young. He was 16 and preparing for college entrance exams. Why couldn't he hang out with friends? Why didn't we have a family vacation at one point? If anything, God forbid, did happen to Light, Soichiro hoped that he didn't feel unsatisfied with the life he lived. Soichiro looked down at his half eaten bread and sighed, putting it down. He wasn't hungry anymore. 

"Hey! Stay here! You're making a mess!"  
"Where's my dad? I need to find him please!"  
"Please, calm down! We need to question you!"  
"I need to see him! Please, please!"

Soichiro and his coworkers looked up and ran to the situation, thinking that maybe the officer needed more backup. 

"Please help me," Light cried, "Help me"  
"We can't do anything if you don't come with us."  
"I need to see my dad before anything, I know he's here."

Soichiro froze at the spot when he saw him. There he was, God had answered his prayers. His son, his precious son, was there. It was Light, he was almost unrecognizable. But, even with being thinner and covered in blood, Soichiro noticed it was his son, no doubt.

"Light...Light!" Soichiro ran up to the boy being escorted by officers.  
"Dad!" Light ripped away from the officers' arms and ran towards his father.The two met and hugged tightly, as tightly as they could.  
"Light," Soichiro sobbed, "my Light oh my God, God thank you."

Light couldn't do anything but cry in his father's arms, his dad smelt the same as three years ago, he looked the same save for more gray hairs, he sounded the same, this was his father.

"I'm sorry dad," Light cried, the words almost unidentifiable, "I love you."  
"I love you too, Light."

The two hugged each other as the other policeman stared in disbelief. This was the Light Yagami that went missing three years ago? The reason why their coworker had been miserable and stressed this entire time? They felt embarrassed not knowing immediately, the boy's face was all over the news. 

"Hey," a police officer patted Soichiro's back, "We need to question him, and get him to a hospital. You can come with us."

Soichiro separated himself from Light, looking at his son again. The blood, it was everywhere. Now some on his suit.

"We've called an ambulance, it should get here soon. He needs a check-up first thing. Light, we're gonna question you immediately afterwards, okay?"

Light nodded before remembering something, "Please check the license plate of the car I came with, I don't know his name or address but that's the closest thing I have."

"With a license plate we can find a person's information easily. You did good, Light."  
"Sir! Ambulance is here!"  
"Well, let's go. Light Yagami, whatever you've suffered from, you're safe now."

While Light was getting his check-up, Soichiro called Sachiko and told her to bring Sayu. The mother started crying, her son was finally back and he was alive. Soichiro was in the waiting room, showing anxiousness from not being able to sit still. He walked back and forth in the room, he bounced his leg when he sat, he filled up and drank cups of water he didn't need, he tried to keep busy.

"Soichiro!"  
"Dad!"  
The man turned and saw his wife and daughter running in, holding hands.  
"Where is he?" Sayu was out of breath.  
"He's getting checked up right now. The doctors said it shouldn't be long."  
"How is he?" Sachiko asked desperately, "Did he look okay? Does he still remember us?"  
"Dear, the first thing he did was drive to the police station to find me."  
"And how is he?"

Soichiro hesitated, looking away, "Besides looking extremely thin he looked fine."

"Oh no, do you think he ate? Did he run away? Did someone take him? Oh my poor baby, I should have made him something before I came here."  
"Sachiko," the man held his wife's shoulders, "The best thing we can do right now is be a family, and welcome our son back."  
"Mr. Yagami?"

The family looked up, a doctor was smiling at them, "Your son is ready to see you, and he's about to get questioned. You're allowed to be in the room."  
They were escorted into the hospital room, at first greeted with two detectives and some police officers crowding the room.

"Light!"  
The mother cried and held onto her son's face, "You're so thin! Are you okay? What is this blood?"  
"Mom," Light held her hand on his cheek, "I'm okay. I have to do questioning right now."  
His mother nodded and stepped away, holding onto her son's hand. He was in a wheelchair at the time being. She hoped he was okay.

"Okay, so Light," the first detective turned on the recorder, "tell us your story."

"Three years ago, my friends and I met after school to help each other study, go out to eat, do some karaoke, it was supposed to be a fun and relaxed day. And for the most part, it was. By the end of the day, around midnight, we left the karaoke place and I noticed this man that's been everywhere we were today. He was outside the school, in the library, at the fast food place we went to, and now he was waiting outside until we finished."

"So a stalker?" The detective interrupted.

"Yes. I separated myself from my friends who were a bit too loud and used my cell phone to call the police, but before I could say anything, he used chloroform on me and I fainted. He told me I could never get my phone back."

"Well, according to some of these officers, the only clue we had of your disappearance was your broken phone on the side of a building. He must've broken it to try to stop the police from tracking it."

"I woke up, I don't remember if it was night or day, and I was naked and tied up, and I had duct tape over my mouth. He came into the bedroom and tried to feed me porridge. It was bitter, and halfway I realized it was drugged and I started to feel dizzy. He laid me down and it was the first time he fucked me."

Light's family felt uncomfortable at the boy's phrasing, but felt remorse nonetheless.

"I refused to eat anything he made, and he told me he needed his new wife to be alive. A few days past before he started to feed me dog food, cat food too if he was in a good mood. He had others too, not any that he kept around. I could hear him torturing people in other rooms, he would sometimes fuck me while having their blood on his hands. Everyday, his personality changed. Sometimes he would be sickeningly sweet and others he would use his favorite knife and slash into me whenever he was bored, or sometimes he would use it when we had sex. He didn't only use his knife, he would beat me thoroughly if he thought I wasn't listening, or if I was talking back. Any time I angered him, he would break a finger, or a toe, and more recently he was threatening me that he'd start to pull out my teeth. Three years of him beating me, cutting me, raping me, I got used to the routine. This morning, he got out of the bed, I was still tied up and duct taped after we had sex the night before, and he had a delivery. I pretended to be asleep when he came back upstairs and got a box cutter out of the drawer. He opened his box on the floor, got whatever was in it, and just left the room. He even closed the door. I saw the box cutter and I nearly cried. My legs were tied together, but I threw them over the bed and reached out with them, and I kicked the cutter towards me. When it was close enough, I grabbed the handle with my toes and lifted my legs back onto the bed, with the box cutter. I scooted around to grab it with my hands and put it under the pillow. I knew he would notice it gone if he came in, so I needed to distract him. I moaned and cried out under the duct tape and started writhing around the bed, he came in and right away he jumped me, calling me his whore wife and taking off my duct tape and ropes around me. While he fucked me, I grabbed the box cutter and sliced it across his throat. His blood spilled on me, everywhere on me. It gushed out of him. He started to choke me so I had to press my fingers into his throats and roll us over to make sure he died. Afterwards, I left the room. I didn't see his phone anywhere, but I didn't care. I wanted to leave that house. I came to the police station because I wanted to see my father, I needed to see a familiar face."

"And you didn't know his name?" The detective asked.  
"He told me to call him my husband, sir, master, whatever got him off that day."  
"We've researched the license plate," one officer stated, "His name is Teru Mikami, he's 28, and we have his address. We'll search the scene and see if it adds up with your story."  
"Okay Light," the detective turned off the recorder, "I think we're good."  
"Mr. Yagami, you and your family may escort Light out."

Sachiko smiled, crying still, and pushed Light's wheelchair out of the room. The family, stepping out into the hall, was welcomed with reporters flashing cameras at them, asking about Light, what happened to him, why he had blood on him. The parents kept their smiles, happy that their missing son was finally found, even if they had to deal with annoying reporters. Sayu was still crying, she couldn't believe she had her older brother back. She was going to be a better sister than before, she promised herself that. 

After driving away from the hospital, the family was home again. Light cried and cried, glad that everything was the same, save for the news station vans parked outside their house waiting for someone to come out. Light was taken up to his room with the help of his sister, and he promised to hug her after he showered, he didn't want blood to get all over her. In his bathroom, he took off his hospital gown and started the shower, feeling the temperature before going in. His body hadn't felt this warm in years. He saw the blood rinse off his body and surround the drain, and he felt a sense of closure. He turned around and started to clean out his anus before remembering that it hadn't been necessary. It had to be stitched up due to tearing and the doctors had to clean it beforehand to prevent infection. 

Light saw his shampoo, and he cried after putting some on his hand. That's how he smells. He was supposed to smell like this. He used to be Light, and smell like this. He rubbed the shampoo into his hair as roughly as he could, excited to get the oil out. His kidnapper used bar soap to bathe his entire body, so it didn't help much at all. Light rinsed and repeated around three times before he started to scrub his entire body with soap, making the water a bit hotter. He wanted to take advantage of his shower, he wanted to make the most of what he hasn't had in years, and what he took for granted. Once he felt sufficiently, utterly clean, Light got out of the shower. His old fluffy towels, clean and waiting for him. Using them to dry himself, he took his time and smelled the detergent used for the towel, feeling nostalgic. He wrapped the towel around his hips and went to his sink. He had a toothbrush! Dear God, he got used to his teeth feeling brittle, weak, and dirty. He had to brush his teeth gently, his gums now easily bled with any irritation whatsoever. This was the longest Light had ever taken to brush his teeth in his entire life so far. He made sure to get the back of his teeth, his tongue, he wanted the minty fresh breath that Light Yagami had almost 24/7. Spitting out the last of his toothpaste before rinsing his mouth, he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair had really grown. It now reached to the middle of his neck. He took out his scissors and comb from behind the mirror, ready to look like the old Light Yagami, the one who wasn't held captive for years. 

After spending around a half hour on his hair, cutting it and blow drying to style it, he realized that he must've taken an hour or longer in his bathroom. His family was probably waiting for him. He opened the door of the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom, and saw that he had clothes hanging on the door. He left these three years ago, it was supposed to be his outfit for the next day. Little did that Light know. 

Light sighed and went to his closet. For now, he didn't want to stage an appearance. He didn't want to wear his khakis, his tailored jackets, he wanted to wear his comfy clothes no one saw him in, the clothes he only left to sleep in. Light pulled on a sweatshirt and loose black sweats to go along with it. His body thanked him. He felt warm and comfortable. He decided to also put on some socks, he was able to use something to prevent his feet being cold now, he might as well use it while he has it. Looking in the mirror, Light gasped. He looked like a normal teenager. Granted, his clothes were rather large on him now that he lost so much weight, but he looked like a normal teenager about to pull an all-nighter, a teenager about to run to the convenience store to get a slushy, a teenager who would procrastinate and listen to music all day. 

"Light?"  
Light turned to his door that his mother knocked and clumsily stumbled towards it to open it for her.  
His mother looked at him, shock all over her face. 

"Light." She pulled him towards her and hugged him tightly. "Welcome back. We love you."  
"I love you too, mom."

Light hugged his mother back, regretting how he didn't often hug her before he was gone.  
His mother sniffed and pulled back, wiping her eyes. 

"I made a meal, it's a bit early for dinner but I know you must be starving. You're too thin! I can't believe it, dog food. What asshole–"  
"Mom!" Light looked at her in disbelief, never hearing her curse before.  
"Yeah yeah, language. Do as I say, not as I do. Come on, let's eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for comments and kudos:P


	3. Warm Light

Chapter 3

Light sat down at the table, his sister was trying to sneak a piece of food into her mouth before they were all together and Soichiro smacked the dumpling out of her hand, scolding her. Sachiko was still bringing in food dishes from the kitchen, all of Light's favorites he noticed.

From what Light could see on the table so far, there was tempura, sashimi, sobu, and gyoza dumplings. His mouth nearly watered at the sight, he hadn't smelled or seen these foods in so long. Actually, he hadn't seen or smelt any food for three years. The boy felt his stomach ache and he bit his lip, trying to contain himself until his mother was sat with the family with the rest of their dinner.

"Sorry, I forgot about the tofu! Light, you remember loving fried tofu, right? Oh you were so cute, you were just a little boy when I last made it, I'm sure I have a video of you making a mess of it somewhere!"

Light's mother put down two plates of Agedashi on the table and sat next to Sayu.

Before the family could even give thanks for the food, Light immediately grabbed a bowl of sobu and used his chopsticks to move the noodles and boiled egg onto his dish. He didn't even put the bowl back in the middle of the table so the rest of his family could help themselves to some; Light devoured his noodles. He loudly slurped and chewed, bringing mouthfuls into his mouth and then, without swallowing, proceeded to stab the boiled egg with one of his chopsticks and bite off half. He gulped and stuffed the other half of his egg in his mouth and reached to pick up two dumplings onto his dish. He didn't notice his family's shocked and depressed stares as he took one of the plates of agedashi and ate half of the tofu. Before he could finish a dumpling, his father cleared his throat loudly. Light stopped, his mouth full of bites of different foods. He slowly and awkwardly looked up across the table, his mother looking at him endearingly.

"Is my food still as good as you remember?" She asked sweetly, not even having a bite to eat. Come to think of it, as Light quickly observed, he was the only one who had started eating.

Light felt embarrassed and tried to gulp down his food, only managing to get down half of it, the rest making his cheek protrude out a bit. He put down his chopsticks and brought a napkin up to his mouth, wiping away the sauce on his lips.

Soichiro patted his hand against Light's back, with a bit more force than he meant to.

"Eat slowly, you'll get a stomachache later. And don't you want to save room for dessert?"

"Well, let's eat!" Sayu exclaimed happily, picking up some sushi onto her plate. "I saw mom baking a cherry pie earlier, Light! Do you remember when we were kids and you snuck us some extra slices?"

"I knew it wasn't you, Soichiro!" Light's mom said accusingly, "I can't believe you took the blame for them, encouraging their sweet tooths."

"I got my punishment," the father whined, "You didn't let me eat dessert for nearly a month! I missed out on so many cookies."

Light wanted to laugh at the situation, but really couldn't with his mouth full of another dumpling. He felt his eyes get a bit wet, he truly felt at home right now. He felt safe and warm as Sayu happily ate her sobu, as his mother and father continued to tease each other, as his father acted the way he did before his gray hairs.

Light sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, not realizing the attention it would bring to him.

Sayu asked wearily, "Light, are you..."

Light coughed loudly and fanned at his face, "It's just spicy," he used as an excuse.

Light's mom knew he was lying, her son loved spicy food because it wasn't "boring." But, she didn't want him to feel out of place.

"Next time, don't eat so much wasabi with your sushi. It can get you ulcers!" She advised worriedly. Light smiled hesitantly and scratched his head, nodding.

The family finished all plates and bowls on the table clean, and Sachiko got up to put the dishes away. As she did so, Light stood up as well and helped her. His mother pinched his cheek endearingly, letting him take some dishes to the sink.

"Sayu I want you to do the dishes tonight."

"Aww why me?" Sayu complained loudly, "A new episode of Mischievous Kiss airs tonight!"

"I can do it," Light offered.

"Honey–" Sachiko stopped herself at the sight of her son smiling, turning on the tap. She decided to keep quiet and prepare the dessert.

Light busied himself with washing a cup and called out, "Hey Sayu, what's this one about?"

He didn't have to look back to know his sister's face was beaming at the question.

"This really dumb girl with a good heart has a crush on this guy, right? But he's too smart and just makes fun of her, but then her house is ruined from an earthquake and their families end up living together!"

"Whoa, really?" Light pretended to be interested, his smile still wide on his face.

"Yeah! Now they're getting closer. Even if he doesn't seem like it, he eventually returns her feelings. Oh! I just spoiled it for you, I'm sorry."

Light let out a huff, "It's a drama Sayu, of course they end up liking each other. A drama could feature a dog and a cat and still make them end up together for that perfect ending."

"I guess you're right," she mused out loud, "But I still like it otherwise! It's the moments in between that make it worth it."

For once, Light didn't understand what his sister said.

"What do you mean by that?" Light asked, placing the last dish onto the drying rack and drying his hands with a paper towel.

"I mean, everyone knows there's going to be a love interest. Everyone knows there's gonna be bumps in the road with their relationship. Everyone knows the two will end up married and making babies happily ever after."

Light nodded, crumpling up the now damp paper towel and tossing it in the bin and moving to sit next to his sister.

"But the reason why I watch these dramas with the same format, is because of the character growth and the story in between the lines. Sure, a bad moment is going to be highlighted in the middle of the series, but there are so many happy times and funny moments everywhere else. It just makes me think that if anything bad would ever happen to me, I'd be able to think back on my happiest moments I treasured, and my bad moment in life would just pass and before I'd know it, I would have been more happy times and get a happy ending!"

Light stared at his sister, admiring her still youthful features and smile that reached to her eyes. He sighed and pressed a hand down onto her head, ruffling her hair.

"Hey! Quit it!" She yelled, trying to move his hand away.

Light smiled and saw an opportunity.

"On no!" He grasped onto his chest and dramatically collapsed onto his sister, "It's happening Sayu, my slow, painful death."

"Light get ooofffffff!" Sayu whined even more, her brother's back pushing her down.

"Sayu I give you possession of my left sock." He wheezed out, pretending to faint.

"Hold up! Is that seriously all you'd give me you punk?!" She picked up a pillow on her side of the couch and hit her brother hard in the face with it.

Light let out a pained sound before getting a pillow for himself and hitting her head.

The two were yelling absolutely meaningless threats to each other.

"Treat your older brother with respect!" Light exclaimed, defending himself against his sister's weapon.

"Why would you only give me a sock?! What am I, Dobby?!" She continued to hit him.

They were interrupted rather quickly, their father yanking both pillows out of their hands.

"Play nice! Jeez, you'd think I had two toddlers."

"Toddlers, teenagers, I see no difference with my babies!" Sachiko cheerfully stated, placing the cherry pie on the counter. The smell wafted throughout the room and the previously stuffed Light's stomach growled again.

"Come and get a slice everyone, I kept it warm in the oven."

After the family sat together, watching cheesy drama and eating warm pie, Light felt properly exhausted. He was the first to go up to his room to rest, and even though it was only 6pm, his family didn't question him. Sachiko watched as her son walked up the stairs, happy that she fed his too thin body. The sleep would do his dark circles well, and his soft bed would help him sleep. She wanted to baby him, to take care of her son the best she could and heal him.

Light opened the door to his room and saw the piece of paper on the ground from when he first came in earlier that day. He rolled his eyes and threw it away, along with his broken pencil lead also on the floor. The boy was disappointed in the kind of person he used to be, so angry on the inside. Of course he would always feel anger for Mikami, but now Light mentally vowed to himself that he wouldn't be so short tempered towards strangers and assume them being lesser than him. Basically, he just wanted to get rid of his judgements, he wanted to live his life based off of what he wanted and not what everyone else expects of him. Light couldn't believe "old Light" being so spoiled to the point where his only complaint in life was that he was bored. It was deeply unfortunate what had to happen to him for him to appreciate what he has.

Light felt comfortable enough in his loose clothing to not change for bed. He sat on his made bed and set his old alarm clock for 6AM, mentally giving himself plans for his first morning without rape or abuse. He didn't even know where to begin, he could watch TV now, go outside, cook, run, anything.

The boy smiled to himself, an eager grin spreading across his face as he remembered the death of his kidnapper.

_To hell with him._

He put down his alarm clock and fell back into his bed. He spread out his arms and legs, appreciating all the room he had. One of his hands grabbed the corner of his blanket and wrapped it around his body, and Light rolled himself into a blanket burrito, like how he used to when he was a kid. With his face now in his pillow and his body completely covered in his blanket, Light couldn't contain himself and let out a muffled laugh, feeling pure joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than my other chapters by a few hundred words so I apologize for that. This felt nice to write, I felt happy and at home and I hope it conveyed in this chapter through Light's support from his family. This story cooooouuld end here if I wanted it to but I think I wanna add maybe two more chapters? idk, tell me what y'all think, comments seriously inspire me to write more, and kudos don't hurt either.


	4. Late Night Adventures

"Wake up, sweetie." Light opened his eyes, only finding that he couldn't see. He tried to sit up, but his hands and feet were bound. "Daddy had such a long day today," the familiar voice sighed, "But you know how to cheer me up, don't you baby?"

Light felt a hand stroke his thigh slowly, firmly. He shivered, trying to press his legs closer together. His blindfold was taken off, allowing him to see who the familiar voice belonged to.

"Good morning, darling." Light's heart raced, and he felt himself panic. His scream was muffled by the tape around his mouth, and the thrashed on the bed. Mikami sighed and shook his head, "I don't know what you expected, babe. With how you're acting, I can't take off that tape. Your screams would direct too much attention, wouldn't they?" Light felt tears gather in his eyes as he continued to struggle against the rope tied around his body. "Light, you're acting like we're about to have our first time again, and even if it's a bit cute you're making me angry. Don't make this harder than it needs to be."

Mikami lifted up Light's shirt, the only article of clothing he was wearing. He also untied the rope around the boy's legs, and Light started to kick at Mikami. The kidnapper was mad, and forcefully opened Light's legs and rested in between them. Light sobbed, his cries unable to be heard as Mikami sloppily kissed down his neck, sucking loudly and licking his skin. He bit down on Light's ear as hard as he could without it being bitten off completely, and Light cried harder when he felt his blood drip down his neck.

"What a beautiful sight." Mikami stared at the blood on Light. The man skipped any foreplay he enjoyed, which usually involved more biting and blood, and pulled his penis out of his pants and pressed it against Light. Light tried to scream as loud as he could, but no one could hear him. He wasn't even sure if he heard himself, he could only hear the repeated slapping of Mikami's skin against his, he could only feel burning and friction, he only felt pain as he was violated. Light felt himself doze off, almost black out from the situation, before he felt a prick at his neck. His eyes shot open only to see Mikami, with blood trailing down his neck as he continued to thrust into Light. He pressed the box cutter that seemed to randomly appear in his hand against Light's neck, breaking the skin.

"We'll see each other on the other side, Light. We'll be together forever, you and I."

The box cutter slashed through the boy's neck, and at that moment his kidnapper came in him. Mikami was now dead, still inside Light. Light realized that miraculously, his hands weren't bound, and he peeled the tape off of his mouth. He pushed Mikami's dead body off of him, and shivered at the feeling of his penis being pulled out so suddenly. Light couldn't see anything but the blood everywhere, everywhere on Mikami and everywhere on himself, as he looked down at his bloody hands. The boy stood from the bed, his legs shaking.

Light, ever so slowly, walked across the room and opened the door. Instead of seeing the stairs that would lead to his freedom, the door opened to reveal a full length mirror. Light stared at the blood still gushing out of his neck. He pressed a finger against the wound, fascinated over him still being alive. He slipped his finger inside his wound, and then entered the second one. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop. He felt his flesh inside his neck, he saw his blood running, he couldn't stop. A different set of arms, pale and bloody, appear behind him and wrap around his shoulders, the hands' eerily long, black fingernails pressing into the boy's fingers, silently urging him to continue pushing against his wound. Light felt his breathing becoming more and more faint, but couldn't stop. The entity pushed Light's hand forcefully, and Light's breathing stopped as his entire hand was pushed into the gash in his throat.

Light woke up in a fright, inhaling loudly and deeply, holding onto his throat with both of his hands. He looked around the room, his bedroom. In his house. His home. With his family. He was safe. Light shakily lifted his blanket off of his body and shuffled through the dark to his bathroom. The boy turned on the light and saw his reflection. His throat was perfectly fine, there were no disturbing demon arms behind him, but boy did he look like a wreck. Light sighed and touched under his eye, his reflection showed a skinny, pale boy with purple under eyes. If he had been anyone else, Light would assume he were dying. He yawned and stretched, but felt nauseous as he did so. Very nauseous. His body curled up and he fell onto his knees, trying his best to aim for his toilet bowl, and threw up half of his dinner. He felt disappointed in himself as he continued to throw up noodles and fish. The scent kept him gagging, and induced him to keep vomiting until he was dry heaving. Light's forehead and entire body was covered in cold sweat, and he prevented himself from breathing to flush the toilet, not wanting the scent to keep him in a gross cycle. He sat back, his body resting on the wall.

While resting on the floor he looked up at his bathroom ceiling, and silently prayed to a god he wasn't sure was there, that he would get over his trauma and live happily. It felt so impossible that the only person who could help him had to be a godly figure of some sort. Light knew he'd end up going to therapy, he'd end up getting random prescriptions that were too expensive and wouldn't help him in the slightest, it would maybe numb him and he wouldn't enjoy his life at its fullest. He blinked slowly and sighed, knowing that he was at a crossroads, and he didn't know what to do about it.

Light pushed himself off the ground and walked to his sink, twisting the faucet and rinsing out his mouth. Swishing the water back and forth, he still felt disgusted and got his toothbrush. He spat out the water accompanied with the undistinguishable chunks in his mouth and grabbed his toothbrush. After Light brushed his teeth, he still didn't feel comfortable in his clothes, his sweat making the heat unbearable. He turned off the light in the bathroom and walked back into his bedroom, peeling off his sweatshirt and heading towards his closet. Light opened the door and turned on the light in the small space, looking at his options. He saw an old white t-shirt with a faded Coca-Cola logo that he was sure was his father's that was lent to him for a reason he couldn't remember. Putting it on, he felt plenty more comfortable than before. Light looked at his alarm clock, it was 4AM. He did sleep early, so he had rested for well over 8 hours. He made his bed, knowing that he couldn't go back to sleep now, and reset his alarm clock so it wouldn't go off in a few hours. He set it back down and didn't know what to do after that. The sun wasn't going to rise until an hour or so from now. Light's stomach growled obnoxiously, him throwing up everything was really an inconvenience. Well maybe not everything, he had to have digested at least half his food throughout the night, he probably just ate way too much. Maybe that's what induced his nightmare; maybe his body just felt sick and tried to wake him up.

Light put on his slippers and walked down the stairs, heading straight to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door and felt a bit odd, like he was intruding even though it was his own home. He didn't see anything in the fridge but leftover pie from yesterday, different condiments, and a large variety of vegetables. He wasn't hungry for pie, or celery for that matter, so he head back upstairs to his room and looked around, trying to remember where he left– Oh, there it is! He went to his desk and saw his wallet resting near his old textbooks. He opened it, he only had around ¥3300, which right now was good enough. He went back downstairs with his wallet in hand and grabbed his old slip-ons that his family left to sit by the door for the past few years. Light walked back to the kitchen, where the back door was, in order to leave the house without the news stations and paparazzi parked outside his home bombarding him.

There was a convenience store he and Sayu would always go to just around the corner. He walked around his houses backyard through the fence, and snuck through the side of his front yard, hidden from the reporters by the trees and plants around him. Light walked through his neighbor's yard, calmly as he could to not get any attention thrown at him. He let out a heavy sigh, feeling relieved as he managed to walk on the sidewalk without anyone seeing him. Light continued to walk down the street and around the block for around fifteen minutes and was now at a street light, the convenience store just across the street. He didn't bother to wait for the light to tell him to cross, there weren't any cars around here at this time. Seeing that the store was indeed open, he walked in to see the products in the exact same places as before, and the designs and colors of the store hadn't changed a bit.

"Light! Is that you?" He turned to see a familiar face behind the register. "Light you're here! You're alive!" The person ran out from behind the register and gave Light a tight hug. "You're so tall now, squirt. I can't believe it's you."

"Hiroki?" Light remembered the other boy, he was just about to go to college when Light was just 16. He was considered another sibling to Light and Sayu, the two would always come to this convenience store to get ice-cream, or Light would come during late nights when he craved ramen.

"I missed you, Light." Light was happy to see him, but he couldn't ignore his stomach loudly growling again.

"Oh!" The –now man– exclaimed, "Anything you need today is on me!"

"Hiroki that's not really necessary–"

"Nope! No choice. Eat to your heart's, or stomach's, desire. I got it. You're too thin now anyways, help yourself."

Light was a bit uncomfortable but still grateful for the special treatment he was given. He grabbed a basket, feeling the man's eyes on him. Light walked into one of the back aisles, grabbing an instant bowl of his favorite ramen. In the meantime, he walked to another aisle and put a stick of mozzarella in his basket as well, feeling like it'd taste good with his noodles. He got lost in the items he got, a single serving bag of potato chips, a water bottle, a melon ramune drink, and other snacks that he only judged would be tasty by the pictures on the wrappers. Light brought all of his items to the counter, his old friend scanned them all and took note of the price.

' _Probably to take it out of his paycheck later_ ,' Light thought.

Afterwards, Light sat at the small table by the window, laying out his food and opening the ramen pack. He went to the microwave, pouring water in the styrofoam bowl before heating up his food. "Hey, Light" Hiroki came back from the register with a few things in his hands.

"Eggs are good for you, you wanna eat this with your noodles," he placed a ready-boiled egg in its tight packaging on the table, "And these are to die for, my own recipe you know!" He set down the hot red bean bun along with the egg, his smile so bright Light thought he'd go blind.

"That's nice Hiroki, but really I have the money for all this, you don't have to pay." Light felt bad, he knew his friend had been saving up for...oh wait, he's finished with college. What was he doing here? The microwave beeped, and Light took out the ramen and poured in the seasoning.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you still working here?"

Hiroki kept his smile on his face, "This is my store now."

Light's chopsticks stirring his ramen came to a halt, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, the owner passed away two years ago and didn't have any family, and he considered me as his own son, so he just left me this."

Light broke the cheese and put it atop his noodles, stirring a bit so it would melt.

"Light, how long have you been back? Does anyone know you're here?" He walked back to the small table, putting down his ramen and sitting down.

"I escaped yesterday afternoon, so you're pretty caught up," Light paused and had a bite of his food, "And just now I snuck out 'cause I'm starving."

"What do you mean escaped?" Hiroki hesitantly asked, he sort of didn't wanna know the answer.

"I escaped my kidnapper." Light kept eating, not wanting to delve deeper just yet.

"Ah...has he been arrested? What was his sentence?" The boy paused at the question, just about to stab his chopstick into his boiled egg.

"He's dead."

The two were quiet, Light not eating and Hiroki at a loss for words. Light nervously looked down, his chest aching as he remembered just how Mikami died.

"Well, that bastard had what was coming to him."

Light looked up at his old friend, pleasantly surprised at the response.

"I'm gonna deal with the register now, you just eat well Squirt," Hiroki stood and ruffled Light's hair, "And if you need it, I can walk you home." Light was then left alone with his food, and he felt relieved that he wouldn't talk about the hell he went through. The boy continued to eat, slurping down his cheesy noodles, biting into his egg, munching on chips, and gulping down his ramune soda. He felt as if his stomach thanked him for the food he knew wasn't the best for him, but all-in-all it was Light's comfort food. He finished most of his meal, looking out the window he was facing to see the sun begin to rise. How long had he been here? He gathered his trash and threw it away, left with a water bottle and his red bean bun, along with a few miscellaneous candy bars.

"Hiroki, can I get a bag?" While Light's items were being bagged, he promised his old friend, "I'll come back tonight, I'll even bring Sayu."

Hiroki smiled, "Alright, I'm holding you up to that. I know where you live, Squirt."

Light left the store with his bag in one hand, red bean bun in the other. He happily ate the dessert as the morning sun rose and lit up the neighborhood streets he walked on. When he approached his house, he prepared for the madness.

“Light! Light Yagami!”

“Light, how did you escape?”

“Light smile at the camera!”

“What caused you to go missing for three years?”

“We missed you! Give us a smile!”

Light just tore into his bread, promptly ignoring the reporters that stayed the night outside his home.

“Light, is there anything you want to say to the world?”

He rolled his eyes and turned to the reporter. “The convenience store at 2 Chome-6-1 Marunouchi, Chiyoda 100-0005 has the best service and food. That’s all.”

He knew he got the reporters peeved, and speedily walked across his lawn, shutting the front door behind him and feeling relieved not hearing those damn news stations all around him. Light switched out his shoes for is indoor slippers and decided not to yell that he was home, it was still really early and he’d hate to wake up his family.

“So where were you, Light?” Light jumped, his plastic bag of goods almost slipping out of his hands. “Dad,” he sighed out, grasping onto his chest with the fist holding the wrapper of his, now long gone, red bean bun. “I got hungry, visited Hiroki. Are you heading off to work soon?”

His father looked at peace, sipping at his black coffee and occasionally fidgeting with his tie. “Leaving in about half an hour. Decided to watch the sun rise.”

A comfortable silence fell between the two. Light opened one of the cupboards and started to put away his snacks he picked up earlier, his appetite filled plenty.

“I didn’t see lunch for you in the fridge, is mom going to wake up anytime soon?”

“Ah. No, my job has been getting irregular hours lately and I don’t want to bother her to make me meals.”

“Well then, what do you eat?”

Light’s dad looked guiltily to the side, “Well yesterday I had sweet bread.”

“Dad!” Light looked at his father incredulously, “How are you supposed to be fighting crime, incriminating bad guys, or solving cases on a stomach filled with sugar?”

Soichiro would agree with his son if he hadn’t experienced his odd new boss who had an obsession with sweets. Coincidentally enough, he was considered the greatest detective in the world.

“That’s it, you go to work, don’t spend a single penny, I’ll make you lunch and deliver it myself.”

His father smiled, knowing that he couldn’t prevent his son from doing something he was dead set on. “Alright then, I won’t buy anything.”

“And eat something right now, don’t just rely on coffee! I brought junk food back, but you shouldn’t eat that. I’ll make you a quick omelet!”

Soichiro continued to smile, happy over being nagged at by his son he hadn’t seen in years. “Light, I have to go to work soon, I don’t think you have the time for that.” Light scoffed, opening the fridge and looking around.

“It doesn’t have to be extravagant, I don’t have to chop up vegetables for you to get your protein,” he grabbed two eggs from the carton, “I’ll make it quickly, but don’t eat too fast, I don’t want you to lose you’re appetite before lunch.” Light cracked both eggs into a bowl, getting a pair of metal chopsticks and mixing vigorously. He slowly poured in a bit of buttermilk as he continued to mix with the other hand. “Don’t be fooled, this omelet may be plain but it’ll be the best thing you taste.”

“I’ll look forward to it, son.”

Light took out a strainer and poured the eggs into it, and the now smoother ingredients were pored into a pan. He left it on the pan on medium heat for a few minutes before folding it. He sprinkled on some salt and pepper as it continued to cook on the pan. Light grabbed a plate and turned off the heat, using the cooking chopsticks to slide the omelet out and onto his father’s plate. “There! Took me around 10 minutes, I bet.” Light set down the food in front of his father.

“Around 15, but close enough,” his dad laughed and began to dig in.

Light sat across his father, watching him eat before he decided to speak, “So what do you want to eat? Even if it’s complex I can have mom help me, so don’t hold back.”

Soichiro put down his already half eaten omelet and decided to put on an indecisive face. “I don’t know,” he hummed, “How about you or your mother choose? I haven’t eaten a meal at work for too long for me to be picky.”

Light pursed his lips and stood up, not satisfied with the answer. He decided to start cleaning up, putting the dishes he used away and washing them in the meantime.

Soichiro came up to the sink and set down his empty plate, “Hey son, don’t forget to focus on yourself, okay?” Light nodded and started to wash his father’s plate. “Oh, and let me write down the address I’ll be at. The task force is at a different location every few weeks, so I’m sure it’d be fine if you came with my lunch.” Light murmured an ‘okay,’ as his dad wrote out the address on a sticky note.

“Lunch is at 2 for us, so don’t take up your day just cooking.”

“Okay, dad.”

“And walk around outside for a bit, get some fresh air.”

“Okay, dad.”

“Oh, and your mother might need help with her garden, so”

“Dad,” Light interrupted, “Go to work, you’ll be late.” The boy smiled at the sight of his father looking at his watch and visibly looking rushed already.

“You’re right. Be good, bye!”

Light smiled at his father now running across the house, the door accidentally slammed behind the man.

“Now,” he looked at the now empty sink, “What am I doing today?” Light turned and leaned against the counter, listing off the different activities he could go through. _‘Grocery shopping, cooking, delivering lunch, garden work…Sayu probably needs help with homework..’_ Light’s mood brightened, excited that he had plans for once, and that this was the start of a normal life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a bit of dialogue in this chapter. Also, my longest chapter! Almost 4,000 words! My other ones ranged between 2,000-2,500. I tried to make this fic as accurate as I could. From my knowledge, convenience stores aren't like the ones here in the U.S. that have questionable and scary foods, they're more tidy in Japan and are designed for people to eat the food they bought in that store. Hence, why there was a small table, a microwave, etc. Also, Japan doesn't have street names, the addresses are a bit more confusing, referencing neighborhoods in blocks or sections. EDIT: I got a lovely comment that helped me out and said that the addresses use phone numbers! I used an actual convenience store address for the sake of it being correct and I think it's okay now? I used a Lawson convenience store address in Tokyo. Let me know if it's more accurate :)  
> If I made any mistakes from my research, please let me know so I can correct it!  
> Also, peep that L reference??? Who knows, he might make an appearance soon.  
> I hope you enjoyed! Please, don't be afraid to leave comments or kudos, it 100% encourages me to write more knowing that people actually enjoy what I'm putting out there.


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